Don’t Give Up on Testicular Cancer

Twice a Survivor, This Man’s Mission in Life: Stop Cancer - Season 2, Episode 8

April 15, 2022 The Max Mallory Foundation - Joyce Lofstrom host Season 2 Episode 8
Don’t Give Up on Testicular Cancer
Twice a Survivor, This Man’s Mission in Life: Stop Cancer - Season 2, Episode 8
Show Notes Transcript

Todd Koza survived testicular cancer twice – once in high school and again some years later. He’s been cancer free for nine years. Now, he spends his free time raising awareness about all cancers, but especially testicular cancer, to help as many people as he can. Todd shares more about his story of cancer, survival, and his Facebook support group SHORTY KOZA N' THE SURVIVORS.  Visit the Max Mallory Foundation website, and listen to other episodes of Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer. 

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Todd Koza: What Every Man Born with One Testicle Must Know, a Cancer Survivor’s Story, Episode 37


JOYCE

Welcome to Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer, where cancer survivors, caregivers, and others touched by cancer share their stories. The Max Mallory Foundation presents this podcast in honor and memory of Max Mallory, who died at age 22 from testicular cancer. I'm your host, Joyce Lofstrom, a young adult and adult cancer survivor, and Max's mom.

Hello, this is Joyce. And with me today, I have Michael Acosta. Michael received his testicular cancer diagnosis at age 17. And he's going to tell us more about that. But he was a junior in high school in Texas. So shocked and scared, he managed to go through surgeries and chemo. And ultimately, he's now helping other young men with the same diagnosis and meet some of the challenges that he did as well. So, Michael, I'm glad that you could join me today.

TODD Absolutely. I appreciate you guys having me.

JOYCE So I always like to start the podcast just to learn more about my guest and his diagnosis with testicular cancer. So I want to ask you, Michael, that same question. Share your story with us as much as you would like to let people know.

TODD Yeah, absolutely. So I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at 17 years old. I'm 28 now, for reference. I just celebrated 11 years cancer-free here last month.

JOYCE Oh, that's wonderful.

TODD Thank you. Basically, kind of how it started. So, I was a baby. We were kind of going through and looking at the records here. And the best that we can come up with was I was around one to two years old when one of my testicles never descended. So that was removed when I was a baby. And so, I went through, you know, the next, you know, 17 years with one, and kind of how it all started was January of 2010. I was playing basketball. I was in a church league with some friends and I kind of went up for, you know, went up for a rebound and came down and just like, just crumbled to the floor. And so, you know, immediately I thought, I thought I pulled something in my groin.

TODD So I sat out and, and, you know, kind of let it, you know, iced it, and put some heat on it. The swelling went down, and I was like, cool, you know, that's good. We're solid. And, you know, come to find out, uh, probably gosh, around, I'd say maybe late February, um, early March, I noticed in my scrotum was just a mass. And it was probably, I would say the size of, oh, maybe a tennis ball just for reference. And, so I kind of, I told my parents, I was like, you know, something's not right. I gotta go to the doctor. So they took me into the doctor, and the doctor originally they thought it was a hernia, a major hernia. So, you know, they sent me off for tests and, you know, one of the tests and, you know, to this day, one of the tests that they gave me was, was a pregnancy test, which, you know, I thought was just, I mean, this whole process, you know, imagine being 17 and you're, you're just trying to figure all this stuff out. So I did an ultrasound, and I went back to school that day. It was March the 26th of 2010. And I went back to school. It happened to be Student Appreciation Week at my high school. And so we're sitting there in the pep rally in the gym, and they had just auctioned off--I remember the day clearly--they just auctioned off a Best Buy gift card. And I was a little bit of a video gamer back in the day. I was like, you know, and they, and they called my name [on the loudspeaker] like simultaneously, like right when they announced the gift card. So I was like excited. I was like, yeah, I won the gift card. No, I didn't win the gift card. Instead, I won a trip to the doctor's office.

TODD So I had to go meet my parents in Arlington, Texas, which is about a half hour from where I live. And you know, it was there, I go in and I sat there in the room, you know, my parents were there next to me. That's when the doctor gave me the cancer diagnosis and I remember just like sitting there I was just stunned and you know, my mom my mom started crying and my dad was trying to hold us together and I just like, I was numb. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know, you know, it was just like I thought it was a bad dream I was like, you know any day I'm gonna wake up now and you know, everything's gonna be good. Everything's gonna be golden. Well, as the doctor kept talking I realized it wasn't it wasn't a dream and I lost it right there in the room I started bawling because you know, when you hear when you think of cancer, you think of death and yes that's true, so you know I sat there and I was just you know I have my whole life ahead of me, you know, I have like I got college, I’ve got a career, I’ve got, you know dating, I’ve just got like all this stuff, and [it] like just comes crashing down in front of me.

So I remember I had to excuse myself in the room, because like I just couldn't be in the room, so you know I kind of like I gathered myself and walked back in the room and, you know, they ran some more tests just to make sure, but they were 99.9% sure that's what it was. So, I went back, I had surgery on April Fool’s Day of all days, and my sister's birthday, 2010. You know, I, I returned, I went to school, uh, I think I missed like maybe two days. Actually, I think I had it on a Friday and I went back to school that Monday or something like that. I was just, you know, I was ready and, I remember, you know, waking up from that surgery and it was just the most excruciating pain that I had ever been in. And I immediately, I mean, it was just, I was ready to give up like right then. I didn't even care. I didn't want to go through chemo. I just, I was done. Like I was just ready to give up and just live out, you know, just live out my time basically. But it was, you know, my mom, because I couldn't drive, cause of the pain, you know, the surgery, the incisions and stuff.

So before, you know, my mom took me back to school and she sat me down and basically just like, she told me that, you know, that this was just like a temporary setback. And, you know, I was destined for so much more, you know, I'm destined to, you know, overcome this, and then use my experiences to help other people. And so, you know, it was just, it was a pep talk and, and, you know, it took some, it took a lot, but, you know, I just, again, I just, I gathered myself and I went to school and there was, uh, it was weird facing my friends, honestly, because I knew they were going to ask questions. I kind of, I told my mom to like, just tell my teachers and to have my teachers tell my friends and classmates, just because it would probably save me the time for me to crying or, you know, whatever. So, you know, they told me and everybody was just super supportive and, you know, willing to do whatever it took to tell me, get to help get me through this. So we go through, you know, we go see the oncologist.

 Since I was 17, I was still, I just made the cutoff to be in a children's hospital. Well, the only drawback of that was I was the biggest child in that hospital, so they had to bring in a special bed just for me because I was so tall. You know, come to find out, we were talking to the oncologist and the oncologist said that, you know, with undescended testicles, it puts you at a higher risk for cancer, which was news to me, was news to my parents.

JOYCE Right, right.

TODD And it's just kind of like, OK, so, you know, Did we know this 20 years or 17 years ago, and nobody told us? Or was it just, you know, we didn't have the medical knowledge back then? So, I mean, it was just kind of, I mean, there was obviously, there was nothing we could really do. You know, I'm of the opinion that we probably just didn't have the medical technology back then, you know, to determine that. But I went through, I did three rounds of chemo, and those were, you know, I thought the surgery was bad. Chemo kicked my--you know, from nausea, vomiting, I didn't eat. I dropped 20 pounds just like at the drop of a hat.

JOYCE Wow.

TODD And, you know, I remember being excited, you know, because my doctor told my oncologist told me, she's like, hey, you know, you don't you don't have any dietary restrictions. And I was like, yeah, you know, because I love food. So I'm just like, cool, you know, I can eat, I can eat what I want. Nope. I took one smell of the hospital food after getting like the first, uh, the first dose of chemo. Nope. I mean, I couldn't eat anything with a smell. So, I mean, I was stuck with like, you know, just dry, you know,  non-perishable foods. So I went through the three rounds of chemo and, and, uh, you know, I think the hardest part for me was losing my hair and, you know, it started falling out, pretty much almost immediately. And I remember, ‘cause I went to school in between, in between rounds of chemo and, you know, they had offered me to go on a homebound program. And I said, absolutely not. I said, you know, I want to be at school because to me it felt like, okay, if I went on a homebound program, people thought, you know, people were going to think I wasn't telling them something or, you know, they were going to think, you know, it was a little more severe.

So I said, absolutely not. I said, I'll do whatever it takes. I said, I want to be at school when I'm not in the hospital. So I did three rounds of chemo each five days. I did five days on, 16 days off. And so yeah, I went back to school and my friends were super supportive. My teachers were the real MVPs, to be 100% honest. They came early, they stayed late for me, and they helped me graduate. They helped me finish my junior year on time. And it was because of them I was able to graduate on time with my friends. So at the end of the third round of chemo, I suppose I should, I don't think I mentioned, I did have stage two testicular cancer, meaning the cancer spread to my lymph nodes. I'm sorry, it spread to my lymph nodes in my abdomen. So, at the end of the third round, we ran tests and they discovered that the mass was still there. So I basically had two options. I could either leave the mass in there and hope that it was dead cancer cells, or I could have what they call, it's RPLND, but it stands for retroperitoneal lymph node dissection, which I couldn't say 11 years ago, but now it just rolls right off the tongue.

JOYCE What age does for us, right?

TODD Exactly, exactly. Well, what's funny was because at that time, you know, RPLND wasn't it wasn't as common here in the US [as in Europe]. I mean, there weren’t a lot of surgeons that did it.

JOYCE That's correct.

TODD So, you know, we kind of found we found a couple, we found, we actually found one in Arlington at the same hospital where I had my orchiectomy, the testicle removal. And, you know, it was a nice guy, but I just, I wasn't feeling his vibe because like he was, he was talking about cutting into me like eight different places, you know, I would have felt like the guy from OperationO the board game operation.

JOYCE Yeah.

TODD So, you know, I kind of like, you know, no, no, you know, we'll keep looking. And, you know, I, we actually, we found a guy at UT Southwestern in Dallas, and he was, you know, he was just like really calm, like really straightforward. He was like, yeah, you know, this is what's going to happen. We're just going to cut you here. And then, you know, we're going to take it out. Well, we, we thought about getting a third opinion, which would have meant going to a U.S. MD Anderson in Houston. So, uh, you know, but I was just like, you know what? I mean, I'm, I'm honestly, I'm tired of dealing with this. So I was like, let's just do the one in Dallas. You know, it'd be good. I like the guy. I mean, it'll be good. So we went and did, um, what I suppose I should mention that, you know, during all this time I was in Boy Scouts, and I was working on obtaining my Eagle [level]. So right before I went into surgery the second time, I finished up all my stuff for Eagle and I was able to get my Eagle. I believe it was four days before surgery. So I had surgery on July the 31st of 2010, and I believe I got my Eagle, I think it was July 27th.

So, you know, what better time when you're when you can't do anything, you know, to like actually buckle down and finish up what you need to do so you can get your Eagle. So I went in, I got my surgery and was in the hospital for a week so they could monitor me and come to find out while I was in surgery, the cancer had lumped onto my aorta. So they had to call in what should have been about a four-to-six-hour surgery turned into a 10-hour procedure. Because they had to call in a vascular surgeon to come in and remove the mass because it had latched onto that aorta. Well, so they also, and of course, you know, when you're removing cancer cells, nothing can be easy. And the, uh, the mass was at the back of my abdomen. So we're talking, we had to move my liver out of the way, my colon, all those major organs out of the way. But finally, uh, they got me out of surgery in recovery. I go home after about a week with the worst stomach ache I've ever had. And again, it made the pain after the orchiectomy, it made that seem like a cakewalk. I mean, it was rough.

JOYCE Oh, it had to be, with everything they had to do.

TODD Oh, yeah, it was just I mean, oh, and they you know, they had a physical therapist come in and try to work with me, and I curled up into a ball because I did not want to move. Yeah, basically, at one point, the physical therapist had to physically pick me up out of bed.

JOYCE Oh, Michael. Oh, gosh.

TODD Yeah. He was a  really fit, muscular dude. So, you know, he could do it. But so, you know, I thought I was out of the woods. Well, I did receive they did come to find out the cancer cells were dead, so I didn't need any more treatment. So as of August 17th, 2010, I was cancer free. I mean, you talk about a huge relief off my shoulders. But, you know, with it, you know, I did have to spend the last weekend of my summer in the hospital because I couldn't keep anything down, food or drink. They thought I had appendicitis, which, you know, would have just been icing on the cake. I just, you know, had two surgeries in the span of three months. And on top of that, now I get appendicitis. So they, you know, they were starting to prep me for surgery, but then, you know, they never did find out what was wrong with me at that point, because they thought it was just, they thought it was just, you know, the effect of having all my major organs moved around. That it was just, you know, I guess them going back in a place was irritating. Or, you know, them being moved was irritating. But, you know, honestly, You know, I think a lot of people and I think my goal with doing this is just is to let people know, yeah, you know, when you're cancer free, like, it's great. I mean, it's, you know, a huge weight to turn off your shoulders. But it's just the you know, there's a lot of things that people don't think about when it comes to life after cancer. And that's honestly, like, that's my goal with this podcast [visit] is to educate people on like, you know, the the aftereffects and what we still struggle with. I don't think it matters whether you're a day, a year, 20 years, whatever. I think it's something that you're going to hold on to for the rest of your life.

JOYCE No, I agree.

JOYCE I've had cancer six times and there's always that feeling in the back of your mind. It's like, what's next? Or things that you think about. And I just want to say one thing, listening to your story is--both you and your mother-- I mean, your mother who sat you down and said, this is just, you know, it's temporary and it's one thing you have to get through, but then you're a strong young man. I mean, to be in high school and I don't blame you: I would want to go back to school too, but I mean, to go through all of this and, you know, be able to do that and be with your friends. And I just think that you deserve recognition for that, because that would, I think, have been a very difficult thing to do.

TODD Yeah. It was especially hard, you know, when, when my hair was falling out and, and, you know, I'd be sitting there, I'd be writing something on my paper. I'd go to turn my head and then turn my head back and, oh, there's a clump of hair on my desk.

JOYCE Oh, gosh.

 

TODD And you know, that's like you're trying to like move your hair around. So, to like cover up the, you know, sudden bald spots you've got. And that is just like, Oh my god, I'm running out of hair. I can't cover up the bald anymore. So yeah, I mean, I think when I when I came to school one day after having it shaved, I just had to shave it all the way off because I was tired of dealing with it. I think that was when you know, it became real for a lot of people and not saying I didn't think they didn't think it was real before, but I think it's just, you know, obviously, you associate baldness, you associate sickness, you know, you just associate all that stuff with cancer. And then, you know, suddenly, you know, you see me one day with hair and then the next day you don't.

JOYCE Right. I just want to touch on one more thing--and then I really want to talk about what you said about what comes after you survive cancer.

TODD Absolutely.

JOYCE Because you know, my son, Max, had the same condition as you did. He was born with one testicle. And they told us he had to have surgery, too. He was probably about a year old. But they said, oh, it's not there, don't worry about it. Well, it was there. And that's how he wound up with cancer, you know, when he was 22. And I think your question on, why didn't they say something like to your family or to us, and you're a little bit older than Max, just a couple of years, but I don't know. I don't know if they knew back then if being born with one testicle was major at higher risk for testicular cancer. I think that's a really good question. So, I just want to say that because I think that that's something too we should emphasize here, is that if you're listening and you have, you were born with one testicle, you know, pay attention.

So, but let's get on to what you were talking about. Now you're cancer free 11 years and some of the things you have to live with or understand in that condition, yeah?

TODD Well, you know, to your point, you know, I do want to give a shout out to my oncologist here at Cook Children's, Dr. Karen Albritton. She was absolutely amazing. You know, she was the one that told us, you know, that, you know, having one testicle does put you at higher risk for testicular cancer. And that was, you know, I mean, it was you know, she was always very upfront with us. And I just loved her. I mean, she was you know, I was very sad when I got kicked out of pediatric care. ‘Cause I really liked her. But you know, honestly, to answer your original question: after cancer, it's, you know, and I never really, I guess it never really hit home for me because I've always been, you know, I've always tried to be like a positive guy. You know, I always, you know, really upbeat, funny, outgoing, you know, that's always like who I've always been. And, you know, I recently joined forces with the Testicular Cancer Foundation. They're based out here in Austin. And we were at a summit in Las Vegas in April. And we were talking, one of the guys was talking, and, you know, the best way he put it was, it was PTSD.

JOYCE Yes.

TODD  And, every time I hear, you know, you always hear PTSD, you know, I was associated PTSD with, you know, our military and, you know, them in combat. But I never really associated it with testicular cancer with cancer. And, you know, the thing about it is, was, you know, when I got out of when I got out of remission, and I had to go see an endocrinologist because I'm on testosterone treatments for the rest of my life. And, you know, I tell you what, this testosterone regimen, it's just been, you know, we're in year 11 now, and it's, I think it's probably been the hardest struggle, you know, for me personally, because, you know, it's trying to find, you know, obviously my body doesn't produce testosterone, doesn't produce any of that stuff normally anymore. And I, it's just been, you know, trying to find doctors. I had one doctor that she didn't really seem to care, or I didn't get the feeling that she cared. Because they originally started me out on Androgen, which is a gel, and it goes on your arms. You rub it in and I just, I knew it wasn't working. Because, you know, and almost, I guess the best way I could, it's almost like having Roid Rage, like being on steroids and have it because, you know, your mood drops, you feel, you know, your mood drops and you get angry.

And, you know, you have these really, really bad mood swings. And that was the worst part. And it still is: you know, if your testosterone levels aren't right, you'll gain weight. I'm pretty sure if I look at a donut right now, I'd gain about 10 pounds.

JOYCE Yeah. Oh gosh.

TODD Because I mean, it's just, you know, and I've, I just recently got health insurance after not having it for a year and a half because of COVID. I lost my job due to COVID.

JOYCE Oh, Michael. Oh my.

TODD So I had, you know, I was off testosterone treatments, you know, honestly, since like, well, I mean, I'm still off of them. I'm waiting to go see a doctor, but I mean, I've been off of them since probably, I wanna say February of last year, of 2020. So, I mean, it's been a gigantic struggle. 

JOYCE Wait, wait. You are off because you didn't have health insurance, right?

TODD Correct.

JOYCE We could do a whole ‘nother show on that, but all right. I'm sorry, I just I hate that.

TODD Yeah, I mean, and that stuff's not cheap.

JOYCE No, it's not, I know.

TODD Yeah, so we, you know, I finally, I finally found a doctor that I like because, and he basically told me, you know, it's another reason why I like this doctor is because he's 100% honest with me. He listens to me. And he wants to find a solution. So he put me on these injections and he's just like, these injections work so much better than androgen. Like, I refuse to prescribe androgel because it, and he said the androgel, it can take like three to four months to take, to take effect. I was like cool.

Well, I mean that would have been helpful to know, because I've been on gel up until probably, I don't know, five years ago. And so yeah, he's just like, you know with the injections, he said if you take them early in the morning there, you know, they basically take effect almost immediately. Obviously, you know, you inject in the thigh, like the fatty part of your thigh, and it goes right into your bloodstream and you know you’re gold, you know, provided you have the right dose, excuse me, you have the right dosage and everything. And all that time, okay, here you are, you know, you're dealing with the PTSD, you're dealing with the testosterone. And you're also, in my case, you know, you're trying to date.

JOYCE Yes.

TODD And dating for me has been, I don't even know the best way to describe it, non-existent. You know, it's just kind of like, ‘cause you know, the thing about for me was, you feel, you know, after cancer, you feel like a big part of you is taken away. You've changed. And, you know, yeah, you're still the same. You know, you still try to be that same guy. Or in my case, you know, I try to still be the same guy, the same, you know, person that makes people laugh, the same person that, you know, is always there for, you know, loyal to the very end. And, you know, try to be that, try to discover who you were before cancer. But that part of you, there's a part of you that's always, maybe missing, gone.

It's almost like you're trying to find yourself again, right? Because you know, there was so much that I missed, you know, because I was either in surgery recovering, my blood cell count was too high, I probably shouldn't have been socializing, you know, I was in chemo whatever the case may be but you know, you're you and you know for me, there's not a lot of people, and maybe there are, and that's why I want to tell people is, you know what, if you have no if you have no testicles at all, come find me: I mean I've been searching for 11 years to try to find somebody that understands and you know and I'm not saying that you know people with one you know yeah they understand on some levels because you know obviously we went through a lot of the same stuff but I mean I don't know to me it's just you know when you have none there's just that

It's almost that special like bond in a sense, because it's like, oh my God, you know, somebody out there, because I get really passionate, really fired up when I talk about that. So, you know, anybody out there listening, like, my God, come find me, you know, we'll like, we'll talk, we'll, you know, whatever, like, we'll connect. I mean, it'll be gold.

But, and, you know, to the whole dating thing, you know, it's just been, the last like 11 years or so, because it's kind of like, how do you tell somebody that you love or somebody that's, you know, maybe not even love, like.

And, you know, you potentially want to have a future with that, in my case, I can't have kids of my own, you know, cancer took that, it was already going to be questionable with me having one, but, you know, having that orchiectomy 11 years ago, you know, took care of that. But you know that you're still prone to the mood swings, you're still prone to all these things, and you're not the same person. You're gonna have your down days. I mean, I can't tell you what a rollercoaster of emotions it's been for me the last 11 years.

JOYCE Yeah, I can't imagine, but listening to you, I understand now what you must have to deal with.

TODD And I can't sleep at night because, or I mean, it's restless sleep. And, you know, I wake up feeling probably more exhausted than when I went to bed. So and, you know, it's dating's been a challenge because, let's say you meet a woman on one of your days that you're feeling like almost feeling like yourself again. And then you get like further on into the relationship and then your mood just drops and you're suddenly, excuse my French, but you're pissed off at the world.

JOYCE Yeah.

TODD And, you're just like, you know, you're in that depressive state and, and all this, and you really don't want to do it. And then it kind of, in my experience, it's deteriorated the relationship. And so, it was hard, you know, cause you sit there and, and, I'm, as a lot of my friends can attest, that I beat myself up a lot. Like, you know, I sit there, and I just like, I'm just like, Oh my God, You know what? It's got to be me. It's me, you know, it's me that's pushing all these people away. You know, it's me, me, me, me, me. And so, but, you know, this is why, like, I mean, I'm so blessed. I mean, I've only been dating my girlfriend now for, uh, it'll be a month on Tuesday, but, you know, just in that month, I mean, she's just, it's almost like she's eliminated a lot of my fears because I've I feel myself getting a little bit worse every day, like a little bit less, a little more tired a little more irritable. My energy levels have just been almost non-existent and you know in a job where I work, you know over 40 hours a week, you've got to push through. I mean, you can't just be like, oh, you know, sorry my energy levels are down. I gotta go home, right and take a four-hour nap.

JOYCE Now, is that something your doctor, the endocrinologist with the hormones, could he help you with that? Or is that just kind of a side effect of taking that?

TODD No, you know, honestly, and I think it's because of my testosterone, and I didn't realize it because I did a lot of a lot of research myself And the fact that I didn't realize just how much testosterone controls. So, I mean, you know, when you're feeling, you know, these high energy, you know, your testosterone levels are probably either too high or, you know, they're, they're in the normal range. So, but when they're like, and honestly, mine, I'm pretty sure if you took my blood now, I'd either be at zero, maybe a negative, if that was possible. But, you know, I've always found that, you know, a lot of stuff, a lot of times, you know, a sense of humor has gotten me a long way. And, you know, it's just, I don't know, it's just been a roller coaster. And that's the thing, you know, that's what I tell people. It's, you know, if they're ever in a position like me, and that's the thing, I've always wanted to be a role model because, you know, I feel like my situation is very unique in the sense that, you know, here I am. Sometimes I don't even know how I'm still functioning.

JOYCE Yeah.

TODD I mean, I gained more weight than I probably want to admit, And I know that. And it does make working out like 10 times harder because, again, you feel like you retain water a lot more, water weight. And again, if I look at a donut, I gain 10 pounds. Don't even have to eat it, just look at it. Um, but you know, there many, many support groups. Um, I think the best one is, uh, this brotherhood that I found with the testicular cancer foundation. And, you know, I, um, I'd hear it, uh, the other reason I found him was I was in my local support group here in Dallas and, um, I had seen on Instagram, one of the guys in the group that, you know, he was diagnosed with cancer. He had a different type of cancer than mine. He had colorectal cancer. And, you know, I'd seen on his Instagram, you know, how he met up with a bunch of guys here in the area that had the same cancer as him. And they, you know, go out and do they go out and do runs, you know, every week.

JOYCE  Right.

TODD And I'm like, you know, that's really cool. So I reached out to a social worker there at UT Southwestern, and she's been really great. I reached out to her at the first of the year of this year, and I just said, hey, I see what so-and-so's doing with his cancer friends, same type of cancer that he's got. I said, is there anything like this for testicular cancer? And she reached out at the top of the list was the Testicular Cancer Foundation. And I reached out to one of the founders and him and I, he called me back almost immediately. And we had like a two-hour conversation.

JOYCE Oh, that's wonderful.

TODD We have weekly Zoom calls every Thursday. And, you know, where we just, we just check in with each other. And he told me about the summit in Vegas, we went to Vegas in April, and it was, you know, with COVID and everything, we took the necessary precautions, but, you know, they limited it to 50 people, as per, you know, the state's guidelines. And so it was kind of like, I found my brotherhood and you know, these guys, I mean, they're there, you know, these are some of my best friends and I only just met him in January, but it feels like I've known these guys for, you know, years. And so, you know, we all just met up in Vegas and it was a, it was a weekend of, of, you know, fun, but it was also a weekend to, you know, really connect with them and educate. And yeah, I mean, you know, the thing is, is, you know, I know, yeah, I know I can text my friends on a whim if I need something, but like, you know, sometimes they don't really know, you know, they can, they can be there, but they, you know, it's kind of like, okay, you know, do they really understand? So, I mean, I reached out to my TC guys and I'm just like, look, I said, this is what I'm going through. And almost immediately it's like, okay, should we hop on an impromptu zoom call?

JOYCE Oh, wow, that's wonderful.

TODD And you know, I've had to do that a few times. And yeah, you know, I think the biggest thing for me is, you know, when I first started dating my girlfriend, I remember hopping on a zoom call with them. I just said, hey, you know, these are my fears. And I said, I really like her. I don't want to screw this up because of, you know, everything that I'm going through. And, you know, they really helped me through a lot. And because a lot of those guys on there are married. Yeah, and you know, they, you know, they went through TC, you know, you know, a couple years ago, or whenever you're, you know, recently, and I'm just say, cool, you know, just getting insight from them. And I just, I feel like a new person, you know, because of that.

JOYCE Oh, that's great.

TODD And honestly, like all my friends, you know, for sticking by me, you know, I think that's the biggest thing. And I don't know, I would never be able to repay that. Just the fact that I know every, I have so many people, that's what I constantly have to remind myself is, you know what, you know, and I, I think, and even my girlfriend probably admits this, I'm pretty stubborn. I don't like to ask for help, but you know, it's just reminding myself like, hey, you know, you've got a support system, use it.

JOYCE Well, and I think that's important to emphasize, because especially when you have cancer, many people don't like to ask for help in general.

JOYCE A lot of times we need help when we're sick. And now, like you said earlier, you just found your brotherhood. They're there for help and they may reach out to you sometime as well for your insight on something. So I would say you're lucky to have that. I think it's wonderful. So use it. I mean, absolutely. It's hard, though. I know it's hard. And I wanted to just also comment on a couple of things, that you found a doctor that you trust and like. And I think with testicular cancer, that's so important because there aren't a lot of places to go to find a surgeon as you did; you found someone that you liked and trusted, but you know, you have to find the right person to do that surgery. The other thing is your girlfriend. Yeah, I think all of us know, you find the right person who accepts you. I'm not I'm preaching to the choir, Michael, but you know, she understands you and knows you and cares about you. And a woman who doesn't want to do that, you know, forget it. You know what I mean? It's not the right person. So it's easy for me to say that.

TODD But I understand what you're saying with that, though.

JOYCE You went through all of this at such a young age, too.

TODD Yeah, there's, never you know, that's the thing, you know, I always tell people, You know, there's a reason why so many people have my cell phone number. There's a reason why I make myself very available, very accessible via social media, via all this stuff. I have so much to offer, you know, and everybody's story's different. And I think that's what makes us all unique. And so, you know, for me, it's just kind of like, lean on me if you have to, you know, the thing about it, I don't want, you know, there were so many times I could have given up. And even now, like post cancer, I'm just, you know, I struck out a lot of times trying to figure out and I honestly, I just kind of had to weather the storm. And, you know, I, especially this last year and a half, not being able to, you know, have my injections. And, you know, it's really just, it's just weathering the storm and, you know, trying not to shut, you know, I've shut down a few times. You know, I can admit that I've definitely shut down a handful of times. And, um, you know, it's just been my friends, my family, like everybody's pulled me out.

JOYCE Yeah.

TODD So, you know, I honestly, like I, I got a shout out to like all of them, you know, they, they know who they are.

JOYCE Well, and I think too, that you started at the beginning to go for it, like you and your mom. And I think that makes a big difference, too, that you didn't want to give up. And it could have been very easy to do that, you know, back when you were 17. And so it's hard. I mean, I think I've always I've never been a good person to take everything one day at a time. I'm always like, oh, you know, what's next? And you got to, and it sounds like you can do that. You just take it as it comes. And it's one day at a time. So it's a cliche, but I think it's very true to have to kind of live that way. But I guess the last thing I just want to ask you, so what's ahead? What's next? You've shared a lot, Michael. So what are you thinking? After I just said to take it one day at a time.

TODD Honestly, for me, it's just getting back on my medication, for one. I'm very excited about that. Very excited about that and just continuing to grow. You know, I think I still have a lot of room for growth. And you know, I'm doing--just strengthening the bonds that I do have so it's, you know, with my TC guys with my brothers You know, we're actually we're playing fantasy football a group of us. So there's like what 12 of us have together, playing fantasy football together. So that's a lot of fun, and it's just you know, continue to continue to do stuff like this and yeah, and you know, I've honestly, and I talked to my girlfriend about this, but, uh, you know, I've honestly, I've wanted to try to get into motivational speaking.

JOYCE Okay.

TODD  I've talked to, there's actually a guy who I've talked with who's actually, who's also a testicular cancer survivor. Um, he lives up in, I think it's Ohio and you know, I've kind of picked his brain a little bit and, um, you know, I've something I kind of want to put like maybe on the side because, you know, I feel myself pulling out of this just because, hey, I've got health insurance now. I've got a really good job. And I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I know, obviously, there's gonna be bad days. I'm still gonna have my days. But I think for the most part, I'm ready. I'm gonna share my experiences with anybody and everybody. I think there's a lot of people Scare it's not the right word that may not want to come forward, you know for one reason or another and that's okay and You know, not a lot of people are out or as I going, you know, I consider myself unique in that aspect But you know, I just want people to know that that you know, if you ever need anything, please reach out to me You know, I'm pretty easy to find on social media for what I've been told.

JOYCE All right. That would be the best way to find you then, is on social?

TODD Yeah. I mean, you know, find me on social media, email me and call me, text me, whatever. You know, there's a lot of people have my phone number and that's fine. You know, I'm good with that. And, um, you know, I'm on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. Uh, I'm on a lot of social media platforms, but, and, you know, you have all my information and, and, you know, I'd be, you know, obviously feel free to give it out. I don't care. I don't mind. But you know, I think the biggest thing I've taken away from my experiences is I've been given a second chance.  And you know what? I don't want to live my life in the dumps. Like I don't want to be in Yeah, you know, I'm gonna have my days when still in the dumps. But I want to be the positive voice for people. I want to be the positive role model, somebody a person can turn to and just say, you know what, it's because of you I didn't give up.

JOYCE Wow, that's wonderful, Michael. That's a great way to, I think, end our discussion.  People can find you, Michael Acosta, and it's A-C-O-S-T-A for people that need to have it spelled. So, gosh, thank you for just sharing everything with us, Michael. I so appreciate it.

TODD Absolutely. And I appreciate you reaching out to me and I'm glad to have the opportunity to come on here and speak.

JOYCE Well, thank you.

JOYCE Thank you for joining me today on Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer from the Max Mallory Foundation. Go to MaxMalloryFoundation.com to learn more about testicular cancer, to donate and send your suggestions for guests on the podcast. And join me next time for Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer.


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