Testicular Cancer Survivor Byron Lane Lives Life with Humor, Honesty and Hope

Byron Lane is an author, playwright, screenwriter, and testicular cancer survivor diagnosed in 2015 and 2020. His award-winning web series LAST WILL & TESTICLE, released in 2016, provides a humorous and introspective look at Byron’s testicular cancer experience. Lane shares his perspective as a cancer survivor and advocate in this podcast. 

In April 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, he learned cancer had returned, a diagnosis received two months before the release of his debut novel, A STAR IS BORED, described by the New York Times as “wildly funny.”  The book is about an uptight celebrity assistant struggling to manage his eccentric movie star boss, inspired in part by Lane’s time as assistant to beloved actress Carrie Fisher. With the upcoming book release, Lane says he had something to look forward to during his days of chemo and treatment.

Lane is a two-time regional Emmy Award winner from his time as a television news journalist. As a playwright and scriptwriter, he authored the acclaimed play TILDA SWINTON ANSWERS AN AD ON CRAIGSLIST and the feature film HERPES BOY starring Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer. Lane lives with his husband, bestselling author Steven Rowley, in Palm Springs.

Transcript

Welcome to Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer, a podcast where testicular cancer survivors, caregivers, and others who have navigated the cancer journey share their stories. The podcast comes to you from the Max Mallory Foundation. A non-profit family foundation focused on educating about testicular cancer in honor and in memory of Max Mallory, who died in 2016 at the young age of 22 from testicular cancer. Had he survived, Max wanted to help young adults with cancer. This podcast helps meet that goal. Here now is your host, Joyce Lofstrom, Max's mom and a young adult cancer survivor.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

So with me today is Byron Lane. Byron is an author, playwright, screenwriter, and a testicular cancer survivor. In 2016, he released his award-winning web series, Last Will and Testicle, which I am sure many of you as listeners have watched, and Byron will tell us more about it when we talk with him. His debut novel is called A Star is Bored, hailed by the New York Times as wildly funny about an uptight celebrity assistant struggling to manage his eccentric movie star boss, which is inspired in part by Lane's own time as an assistant to beloved actress Carrie Fisher. Lane is a two-time regional Emmy Award winner from his time as a television news journalist, He also wrote the acclaimed play, Tilda Swinton Answers an Ad on Craigslist, and the feature film, Herbie's Boys, starring Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer. He lives in Palm Springs with his husband and bestselling author, Stephen Rowley. So Byron, thanks so much for joining me today.

BYRON LANE

Joyce, I'm so excited to talk about this, to raise some awareness and honor Max's memory. Let's do it, you know? Yeah, thank you.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

So tell us about your story, your testicular cancer journey. What happened, when, anything you want to share?

BYRON LANE

I'll share from the beginning. I was, this isn't very glamorous, but I was peeing and I just happened to be feeling a testicle and felt a small lump that felt like the size of a pea. I noted it, but I didn't worry about it. And then maybe a month later or something, I felt again and it was larger, like the size of a marble. And so I made an appointment with the urologist and he said that almost certainly it was, whatever it was, it wasn't supposed to be there. They had to take it out and that it was likely cancer, but they wouldn't know until they remove it and cut it open and send it out for tests and all that stuff. And so that's what we did. And when they did do the testing, the pathology called it a, let's see, I wrote it down, malignant mixed germ cell tumor with elements of teratoma, seminoma, carcinoma, and yolk sac tumor. I didn't really know what any of this stuff meant, but the doctor explained that there was some cancer. And I had the choice to do chemo then and raise my chances that it wouldn't come back. Not exactly hope for the best, but lean on the good odds that it wouldn't return because there was like 95% chance that the cancer wouldn't come back. But if I did chemo, then it went up to like 98 or something like that. But I chose to not do chemo because of the good odds. And then in 2020, and I did my regular checks and all the scans showed everything clear. And then in 2020, I did a regular scan and it showed something in my lymph nodes, like in my hip area to the right of my groin, and it was a tumor. And so I had to do chemo and then have a surgery to remove the tumor from the lymph nodes. And then I got stitched back up and sent home, and I've been doing scans ever since, and everything looks clear and good and smooth sailing.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Well, that's wonderful. I'm glad you're healthy. You also had to go through the second round during the pandemic, so...

BYRON LANE

How was that? I'm in this weird spot, especially after the second diagnosis, where I'm really trying hard to see the little beautiful moments in things that were rough. The COVID aspect of chemo was crazy. Wearing a mask all day, having a mask while you're uncomfortably getting all the chemicals and all that stuff, it was a drag. A good side, if I can find a silver lining of that, was I got to spend a lot of time with the other patients there. I got to observe a lot. I didn't have to have my partner sitting there with me. So I did try to find, I made some friends kind of in the chemo chairs next to me. So there were some bright spots, but it was also scary. And there was also the scary moment where, so I like to go on lots of walks and I could feel something kind of in my leg like it felt like there was something in my in my hip area and I had I never in a million years thought it would have been a tumor but I thought it could be some kind of symptom of the cancer coming back and My doctor, my oncologist in LA was trying to move the appointment because of COVID. All these doctors were canceling appointments unless it was medically necessary. And I remember when the office called, I said, actually, no, I can't cancel because I think I'm having symptoms. I need something checked out. And they were like, oh, sure. And so then the journey continued. But I was kind of proud of myself for standing up for myself and for saying, no, actually, I have something that needs attention because that isn't exactly how I've always been. And I think that after the first diagnosis, there was a shift in me of I have to take care of myself. I have to be my own advocate.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

And that's a perfect example of what we all need to do with any kind of health issue that we have. And especially during COVID, it would have, that would have been, it is hard to do. And I, I'm glad that you could share that because I think our listeners would benefit from that as well, because it's very easy to say, oh, I'll just wait, you know, it's okay. And thank goodness you didn't wait. So I know I watched your, your web series, Last Will and Testicle. I have to say, it was great. What a wonderful way to tell this story and help people. You had your parents in it. It was just a very fun to watch, but also informative program. Talk a little bit about just how you decided to do that and tell your story that way.

BYRON LANE

Thank you. Well, first of all, thank you so much for watching that. Also, I'm sorry that you had to watch that because some of them are a little bit wacky.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

That's why it's good, though. Thank you.

BYRON LANE

Not to interrupt, but yeah. Yes. Oh, thank you, Joyce. I don't know. I've always been someone who likes to be creative and a storyteller. I studied journalism in school and in college, and that's where I got my start with everything. Then when I moved to Los Angeles, I started getting involved in like film, writing scripts and all that stuff, and web series production. And I'm always looking for ideas. I'm always writing things down and trying to find the next thing I want to write about or create. And then when the first diagnosis came, it really was a shock. It was my first taste of mortality and of my body showing me that it has a life of its own in a certain way. But then in the midst of all that, humorous things were happening. So I called my dad to tell him what happened and he said, well, so they're taking out a testicle, but how many testicles do you have right now? He was confused, because I had an injury when I was a kid. Things like that just were humorous and they just kept happening. My doctor, my urologist was kind of a funny character. So I would just collect all these little stories and suddenly it felt like little scenes I could create. And it was actually really helpful for, I think, my healing and my coping to be able to make some art out of it and to do something creative with something really hard. It gave me an outlet to kind of process a lot of the scary stuff.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Well, it was very good. I mean, I really laughed and just, you know, I could see how it would be helpful to be able to, as you said, tell your story that way. And if I can backtrack for a minute, you mentioned you studied journalism. If I can. I studied journalism, too, in Missouri. I just wondered where you worked and where you won your Emmy, because I know you won a regional Emmy, too.

BYRON LANE

Yeah, so I am from New Orleans. And so I went to Loyola University in New Orleans. And while I was there, I worked at WWL TV, which was the CBS affiliate in New Orleans. And I started as an intern and then kind of rose through the ranks. And by the time I was done with college at Channel 4, I was an associate producer writing for the morning show and all that stuff. So that's kind of how I started, and then I wanted to be on air, so I got a job in a smaller market in central Louisiana, a little town called Alexandria. So I was an on-air TV reporter there, and then I got hired as a TV reporter in Las Vegas, where I worked an overnight shift and would get to work at midnight with my little necktie on and this new police scanner. And a photographer and I would drive around and go from crime scene to crime scene and whatever was the worst thing was my live shot for the morning show. Then I moved to Los Angeles and I got a job as a writer in the overnight hours. And that's where the regional Emmy came from. I remember covering wildfires and then there was a terrible crash on an interstate and I was a writer on that show. So all of us who helped produce that newscast each got a regional Emmy for it.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

I studied news ed, I'm just going to say this quickly, because I think journalism, that's the thing that's so appealing to me, was just all the people that you meet, the interviews you get to do. I was a food editor and a restaurant critic. Oh, wow. It was fun, and it's hard work, but I just wanted to ask because I know that's part of your bio too.

BYRON LANE

Journalism was also something new every day. Yes. One day you'd be talking to the governor, and the next day you're talking to a homeless person. It really was a great way to see the world and connect with the community. And I was really lucky. My best experience was at Channel 4 in New Orleans, and I worked with Hoda Kotb there, that's where we worked together. And Michelle Miller, who anchors the CBS Weekend News. And that station really, they really worked hard to create positive change in the community. So when Hoda was an anchor there, she would go spend the night in housing developments where there was high crime and murder. And that would be a story on the news. And they would tell it in like 10 minutes. And everyone watched. And nowadays journalism is so different. There's not really a dominant source where everyone's like Walter Cronkite or back in New Orleans. I saw it on Channel 4. And that's kind of sad. It's a bummer to see that.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yeah, I agree. I agree. That's a whole nother podcast. Oh, true. So you mentioned earlier, too, about the second diagnosis. And I know that happened right before your book came out. Talk a little bit about your book, but also how that I mean, that's a kind of opposite ends of things happening, you know, a book coming out, but then also a second cancer diagnosis.

BYRON LANE

So, yeah, it was really crazy. And it was all happening under the COVID times. So I used to work for Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia, and I was her assistant for a few years, and it was a magical, wild experience, and I left that job in 2014, and then she died in 2016, and I wrote a novel inspired by our time together. And it takes novels forever to get published and all that. So I knew the release date was going to be July 2020. And it was April 2020 that I got the diagnosis and started my chemo. So it was a real bummer because having a book published was sort of the biggest thing to ever kind of happen to my career. And I was so proud of it and excited and hoped it was well received. And then at the same time, sick from the chemo and the silver lining of the book coming out in the middle of chemo was that I had something to look forward to and I had some outlet in which people who wanted to support support me during the cancer thing could they could buy a book and and send a nice note and so all that was really It was really a nice blending of healing. I tried to look at the chemo as a process of healing, even though it sucked, and healing and support and art again, which helped me so much the first time around. But yeah, it was weird.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

That's a lot, but you are right, though, about a book coming out. I haven't written a book, but I'm just saying that is such a monumental accomplishment in one's life. So I can understand the challenges you must have felt with it. Thank you. You have a positive attitude about looking at the chemo as a healing process, which it is. It's just kind of a grueling healing process, but you know.

BYRON LANE

And also, Joyce, I recognize too that I actually had it pretty easy. I caught my cancer so early both times, and that's always helpful. And also, I don't have the worst... For me, my diagnosis was not the worst diagnosis. And when I was receiving chemo, I would look around at the other people. In this hospital, it was not really private. We were in a room where we could see each other. And wow, people were really suffering. And that also kind of helped me, you know, because it was easy to say to myself, like, you don't have it that bad. You don't have it as bad as that guy or that lady. And then things would happen. Like one lady I would watch and she would knit the whole time. And one day she came up to me and gave me a hat that she knitted for me. And she picked out all the colors and all that stuff. And just for me, she said, I could use a little color in my life. And so then the rest of my chemo, I wore that cap because it was always cold in there. And so it's just so hard to deny these little beautiful moments. And it forced a reckoning of like, oh, no, life is, I'm mortal, but also look how pretty, you know?

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yes. You know, I know with Max, he was in a private room for most of his chemo, but at the end of it, I remember one of the nurses brought him some lemon bars, which I just thought was great that, you know, it was all over and she brought him a can of lemon bars. So you're right, those little moments happen that you have to cherish and remember.

BYRON LANE

And it adds so many layers to a life, to everyone's life. I'm thinking of myself before that lady gave me the cap and maybe for Max before the lemon bars, there's a lot of thought about what's happening to me? Am I going to be okay? And then suddenly someone does something kind and you realize the connection and like, oh, it isn't just about me. This person who's caring for me, they have a stake in this too. I don't know. These little beautiful moments are, I hated that time, but I also treasure those little moments.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yeah. I think you've kind of answered the other thing I was going to ask you around this was, what was your biggest challenge in both your diagnoses?

BYRON LANE

Yeah. Gosh. All right. Well, for the first one, there were many, but this one maybe is relatable or helpful. that I felt like I had to take care of a lot of people. I had some relatives who I called and would say, hey, I'm going through this. And then they would get a little bit crazy. What are we doing? What do we do? And I had to say, you know what? I'm sorry. I can't take care of you. I got to take care of me. And that was a real shift in thinking for me. And hence, after that, I've noticed that I pick up when these things are happening. I was grateful for that lesson, and that was really hard, is making sure that I wasn't carrying a bunch of other people that I really focused on healing myself. Another element of this whole thing that I'm embarrassed to talk about, Joyce, is a little bit of vanity. What is the chemo going to do to my body? Is my hair going to fall out and never grow back? At the time I was an actor and performing, and I wondered what will that do to that side of my life. This is an embarrassing part, but in both cases, in 2015 and 2020, I got really emotional about the hair stuff.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Oh, I don't blame you. I mean, yeah, it's a huge part of all of us, our hair.

BYRON LANE

Yeah. So the vanity stuff was tricky too. And then when my hair started falling out from the chemo, that was sort of, I remember having a hard night one night at like three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. And I was just sitting by myself on the couch in the dark in the living room and crying and thinking, I don't want this, I don't want this. And there's this self-help lady I love who often talks about not being at war with reality. And I can look back and see how at war with reality I was. When you're going through something like that, it's hard to say, I want what happens, and it's hard to love what is. But I just try my best to find the little things I can hang on to to say, I feel sick today, and I don't want to eat, and maybe I'll throw up. But wow, that is a pretty shade of blue out there in the sky. And sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn't, and I just need a nap or whatever.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yeah, and I think sometimes, too, we have to be able to say, it isn't going to help me today to say that the sky is blue, but that's OK. That's right. It's today. And so you have to be on both sides.

BYRON LANE

That's right. And part of loving what is trying to love yourself, even if you're feeling a little down. What a crazy journey, though.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Oh, yeah, it is. And you had it twice. So that makes it, I think, even more--I'm going to say challenging--but probably memorable. You have lots of time that was invested in getting well.

BYRON LANE

Who was your support group through all of this, Byron? My main support was my partner, Steven. We started dating in 2013, and during the first diagnosis, he... Well, for both of them, but for the first one, he was my real rock. I was really lucky to have him and friends and family. Everyone was really... lovely and supportive, even Carrie Fisher, she did a lovely tweet about the web series. And so, yeah, I was really lucky that I had a lot of good support around me.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yeah, that's great. So this is kind of along the same line that we were just talking about, but I know in your web series, Last Will and Testicle, there was in the second part of it, there was a segment where I know you were reading a book, but you said something like, maybe life is not meant to be as perfect as we think, but we have to live with the life that we have right now. I thought that was profound and very accurate in terms of how to look at life. Can you talk about that philosophy a little bit and let me think about it now?

BYRON LANE

Sure, Joyce. That book I was reading was by an author named Tara Brock. And she was someone who a friend sent me a video and I really enjoyed that. And there's another kind of self-help person I love whose name is Byron Katie. But that book was by Tara Brock. And yeah, the sentiment of just like kind of a part of being at war with reality sometimes can be, this should be perfect. But if we let that go, sometimes it can be perfect, even messy. And a friend recently told me a quote that sums it up way better than I think I did in that web series, but she was talking about anxiety and that it's not enough to fight anxiety, you have to seek calm. And I think that it's maybe the same with living, like it's not enough to just fight negative thoughts, you have to seek the good in things sometimes. And I think that's what I was just trying to say in that web series. So in that scene, there was the guy and he's having a fight with his tumor. His tumor can talk. And after he realizes that, the tumor character disappears. So after the character realizes that it's okay if life is a little messy sometimes, the tumor character disappears and it's a relief. It was a relief for him. So I'm so glad that that stuck with you, Joyce.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

No, it did. It made me think about a lot of things that I kind of review in my life. Sometimes the grass is always greener, but if you think that way, then you miss what's right in front of you. It did catch me, that comment, so I just wanted to ask you about it, too. Thank you. Well, I know, too, you've been very active in raising awareness about testicular cancer and encouraging men to do self-exams and participating in Movember. Can you talk about some of the things that you are doing and what advice you have for men about taking care of their health?

BYRON LANE

Gosh, listen to your body. You know, I keep thinking back on what if I would have kept ignoring When I felt the lump initially, what if I would have just said, okay, when my doctor's office tried to cancel an appointment, listen to your body and be your advocate. I have a friend who said something that has stuck with me. She said she was having a dispute with her doctor. Her doctor was saying that, something wasn't, you know, that she was like making something up or whatever. And he was like, I'm your doctor. And she said to him, actually, no, you know what? I am my doctor. And what she meant was that I am the authority on my body. And I thought, you know what? That is great. That is true. And I'm lucky that I had doctors who were great partners with me and all that stuff. And find a partner if your doctor doesn't listen or you're not you're not being heard, but fight for your health. And the sooner you catch testicular cancer, the better.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Right. All right. That's very good advice about finding the right physician, because if you're unhappy, look, you know, get a second opinion or do something so that you are with the right person. Yeah. I like what you say about that, because it's very true. Do you have advice, and you probably just said this, but listen to your body. Anybody that's going through treatment now for testicular cancer or might think they have it, any other thing you want to say around that?

BYRON LANE

Just to reiterate, please get it checked out and lean on the people around you who you love. And also, it makes me wonder, Joyce, if I can ask you how you're doing, because I know that part of Part of my journey and my healing has been, my mom has been a great support system for me, and I can't imagine what she'd be going through if things had gone a different way for me. So I wonder how you're doing.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Well, thank you for asking that, Byron. You know, we're fine. I'm fine. It took us a while. It was six years ago in May that Max died. And Friday, this Friday, June 17th, is his birthday. He would have been 29. And, you know, I think what's helped us is time. And I also think having the foundation that Max's dad and his brother and I founded, which is where this podcast comes from, That's really helped us, you know, remember Max, but feel like we're doing something so people don't have to go through it, but he did. But, you know, as a mom, it's a hole. It's always going to be a hole to lose a child. I know his brother was upset and, you know, again, he's healed too, but, you know, he lost his only sibling. you know, things like that, or you can move on and do other things. But, you know, there's always that kind of little void or big void in your life. But we're good. We're, you know, doing things like this really helps. But I really appreciate that you asked.

BYRON LANE

Of course. And are you doing anything special on Friday?

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Well, on Friday, Max loved carrot cake, so we'll probably have carrot cake. And, you know, the three of us, you know, my son and my partner, Bill, and I will probably sit down. And I know his dad is with, his dad lives in a different city, but he's with his niece actually, so I know they're going to be doing something to remember Max. And actually, I just posted something on my Facebook page today, which was some pictures of Max. So, you know, we do things like that, and just I think being together helps.

BYRON LANE

Oh, that's really beautiful, Joyce. Well, I'll be thinking about Max on Friday, and I'm going to stalk you on Facebook and chat.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

OK. All right. So what's next for you? You're so successful and so giving. I just wondered if there was anything you want to share about what's ahead.

BYRON LANE

Oh, gosh, you know, I wish I was more successful. Maybe I think it looks that way. But a lot of the creative life is really a lot of like throwing noodles at the wall and seeing what sticks. And so I've written a second novel. And my editor has that right now. And that's a really touching mother and son story about marriage. It's a little bit like Father of the Bride, but instead of a dad and a daughter, it's a mom and a son. So I'm excited about that. I hope my editor loves it. And then we'll see what happens. I'm working on turning the first book, A Star is Born, into a TV series. So lots of talk about that. And then I have a play that I wrote that Tilda Swinton answers an ad on Craigslist. And we're going to be doing that play in Los Angeles in July. So it's some irons in the fire.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Oh, those are all exciting. So I'll watch for news on that.

BYRON LANE

Thanks, Joyce.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

It's probably better in L.A. than it is here in Chicago. It's almost 100 degrees today. So I like the heat, but I know it's warm in L.A. usually, too. Oh, yeah. But now my last question is a fun question. So what song when you hear it, do you just have to sing along?

BYRON LANE

I'm trying to think of that before we started chatting, I pulled up an email and looked at like some possible questions. And I saw this one. And I was like, I better figure that out. And I don't know. Oh, that's okay. But the one that came to me was the Whitney Houston song. I was a huge Whitney Houston fan. And I have nothing. That's one of them that if it comes on, okay to sing it. Man, That was another tragic death in the world for Whitney. Yes, it was. Yeah, that was my thing. I was a huge Whitney fan. I had a poster of her over my bed in Louisiana when I was growing up. She was the first concert I ever went to at the Cajun Dome in Lafayette. Oh, fun. Wow. I loved the movie The Bodyguard. Yes. I don't know. Crazy, crazy.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Yeah, my first concert was the Beach Boys in Kansas City.

BYRON LANE

Oh, that's huge, that's great. That is a solid, reputable band.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Good for them. Well, I think we've covered a lot. And again, thank you for being here and sharing everything with your story and life and more.

BYRON LANE

Thanks for what you're doing. And I'll be thinking of you and Max on Friday.

JOYCE LOFSTROM

Okay, thank you.

ANNOUNCER

Thank you for listening to this episode of Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer. If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe to our program on your favorite podcast directory. You can also visit the Max Mallory Foundation at www.maxmalloryfoundation.com/podcast to listen to previous podcast episodes or donate to the Foundation. And join us again next time for another episode of Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer.

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