Testicular Cancer Taught Me to Embrace What Life Might Offer

Chris Ho survived testicular cancer twice, losing both testicles to the disease. He shares the path he navigated to learn gratitude, become a certified coach, enjoy fatherhood with his wife and his two sons, and be open to what life might offer.

In this podcast, he details his journey that began in 2013 with his first diagnosis of testicular cancer. At the same time, he learned his wife was pregnant with their first son. His father shared that he had Stage 4 lung cancer in 2016 and then passed in 2018 after meeting his first grandson. 

Chris received his second diagnosis in 2020 with surgery to remove his second testicle.   

Learn how Chris navigated his life after testicular cancer, including insights on his career, and his family with a second son born via IVF treatment in 2021.  He tells listeners about his job with FranklinCovey in Canada and then the start of his business Conscious Studio.

The bottom line is that Chris strives to live his life and help others to live with purpose.

Enjoy this episode of Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer from the Max Mallory Foundation. 

Transcript

Announcer: Welcome to Don't Give Up On Testicular Cancer, a podcast where testicular cancer survivors, caregivers, and others who have navigated the cancer journey, share their stories. The podcast comes to you from the Max Mallory Foundation, a nonprofit family foundation focused on educating about testicular cancer in honor and in memory of Max Mallory, who died in 2016 at the young age of 22 from testicular cancer. Had he survived, Max wanted to help young adults with cancer. This podcast helps meet that goal. 

Here now is your host, Joyce Lofstrom, Max's mom, and a young adult cancer survivor.

JOYCE: Hi, this is Joyce, and with me today is Chris Ho, and he's a two-time survivor of testicular cancer, first in 2013 in his early 30s, and then again in 2020. Chris has two boys, Caden, who is six, and Liam is almost two years old. He shares his journey with us and provides insight on living with gratitude and purpose. So Chris, thanks so much for being here.

CHRIS: Yeah, of course. Thanks, Joyce, for having me. Really appreciate it.

JOYCE: I'm glad you could just take the time and share your story. So why don't you start and just tell us your story, any details you would like to share.

CHRIS: Sure. It all started probably in 2013. Routine shower one evening. I was engaged with my partner and just, yeah, like I said, routine shower. Felt a little bit of a lump down there. And I was like, oh, that's a little bit odd. I had just actually found a new family doctor that year. So I was like, hey, this is a great time to visit him and check this out, which I did. And saw him, and he was, right away, he was like, oh, this is probably just a cyst. This is probably just a cyst. But he's like, let’s just be safe; I will send you over to get an ultrasound. I said, okay. Which he did, and then at that time, of course, I'm doing Dr. Google and looking things up, but just relying on him saying that it was just a cyst.

Triggered into another set of events, saw the ultrasound, talked to my doctor after. He's like, hey, we're going to send you for another follow-up. It's probably just a cyst, though. But we're just going to get this checked out a little bit further. Went to go see another doctor, and he was an oncologist urologist, which probably should have signaled to me that something was up. I went to see him, and then, five seconds into meeting him, he examined me, and he was like, oh, this is cancer. And I almost fell back--he had to actually catch me.

It was kind of obviously--you think about those things, you hear Dr. Google and all that, but until you hear from a doctor and all that... Next thing I know, I'm with the booking clerk, getting booked in for emergency surgery and all the motions around that. I had to go home, tell my fiancé about that, what I found out, But [I] had a successful surgery in October that year, 2013. Got it removed, one testicle. Follow-up CT scan, because who gets CT scans all the time, right? Follow-up CT scan showed that I had another tumor in my right adrenal gland. They said it was big, about 10 inches. It's got to come out. It looks like a spread. You're probably going to lose your liver [they said]. You're probably going to lose parts of your kidney and parts of your liver. That was Christmas of 2013, which was fun.

JOYCE: Oh, Chris.

CHRIS: Yeah. But you know, fast forward 2014, Valentine's Day, great day to spend in the hospital, got the right adrenal gland removed. I woke up--I remember thinking, hey, did you save my kidney, save my liver? And [they’re] like, ‘yeah, we did. We just took your right adrenal gland out and the tumor that was wrapped around that.’ I recovered in the hospital. Luckily, a few weeks later, the pathology came back. That right adrenal gland tumor turned out to be benign, which is good news. I recovered. It was 2014. I was still with the two surgeries.

My cancer journey takes a little bit of a tangent in 2016, where now my dad calls me over to his house and he tells me something's something wrong. I knew something was off. He just stared into the living room, and he told me that he has stage four lung cancer. And he was already going through radiation, and chemo was coming up. So that was obviously tough to hear. And coincidentally, after he told me that, I came home that night to tell my wife, and my wife knew that something was up. But once I walked in the door, she actually then shared with me that she was pregnant with our with our first son.

So lots of emotions that day. My dad battled his stage four for a couple years. And he stayed alive long enough to meet his first grandson, which is Caden. Then he passed in 2018. And, you know, my journey continues right before COVID, follow up doctors and scans and all that stuff. And then on the remaining testicle, they found another lump on my remaining testicle and then [it] turned out to be cancer again. I had that surgery January 2020, just about a couple of months before COVID. And that got that successfully removed as well. And to this day, I'm healthy. I'm on full testosterone replacement. I've got a whole bunch of medications as well.

But yeah, I'm grateful for all that. And that's kind of my story in a nutshell, really, throughout the last few years.

JOYCE: Well, that's quite a bit to deal with in like seven years, especially with your cancer and a new baby and your dad's illness. I mean, that's really--I just applaud you for getting through it, and glad you're still here, of course. So, what was your biggest challenge?

CHRIS: I tell people all the time when I reflect on the story, and I still mean it, that I wouldn't change a single thing, actually. You hear about this, I think, a lot from people who face hardship or challenges, and it makes you who you are today. And I firmly believe that, but you know, I think when I reflect, the biggest challenges were all around my mental health to be honest--you know hearing the news and then sharing that with my fiancé at the time and just kind of working through all that. What you thought was important before, and bring to the surface what's not, and dealing with a bunch of emotions. And then for men, the whole idea of testicular cancer and like, hey, now I have no balls, right? And playing with that emotion and erasing those old stigmas and all that. And now I have two boys. So it's kind of my purpose and mission to really kind of just redesign how boys and men think and interact with emotions and our health and all that. So I'm still on my journey of all that. I've seen a bunch of counselors and therapists and I've been hypnotized a few times. I'm a coach now myself. So, you know, that was my biggest challenge and it's continued to be something I'm always trying to work on.

JOYCE: I was going to ask you a couple of things, but I know I've read a couple of articles about you. And do you want to talk a little bit about just as much as you would like to share, though, about your support system, and with your wife, and just getting through it?

CHRIS: Well, to be honest, when I first found out, I didn't actually share with her that first doctor's appointment, the first ultrasound. And that is one thing I would definitely change if I were to go back, would be to involve her right from the get-go. And, partly it was me not being able to deal with my emotions, and also dealing with the fact that my upbringing in a traditional, maybe, Chinese family was, you don't really share too much until you have to. And you don't want to burden people. For me, like I said, I thought it was a cyst--at least [from] what the doctor said in the beginning. So I didn't really tell her until I had that first confirmation from that doctor. If I could go back in time, I would have opened up and shared more in the beginning, and allowed other people in with their emotions as much as possible. So that's a big piece of it. And I think after I shared that with her, it was amazing to see the support that she had, of course. And she was by my side the whole time, and my family and my friends. I found over the years, the more I shared about my journey, the more support I would receive. Surprising. So that was a big aha for me.

JOYCE: Yeah, I think just on my own experience, I mean, I'm a cancer survivor too, and I'm the kind of person that it helps me to talk about it. I'm not good at not talking about it. So I applaud you for doing that and sharing your story not just with your family, but I know you have with other people as well. The other thing I want to mention before we get to talk about your business, but I can tell, again, from what I've read, that you're a really positive person. How did you get there and develop that, to care about the quality of your life?

CHRIS: Yeah, thanks. I think I've always been positive and optimistic. I think about high school and all that, and I grew up in all that. Always looking at the brighter side of things. I always lean towards positivity. But it's not always like that. You probably would know that with your experience, that you can't always be positive. And I think that's the biggest myth is that optimistic people are optimistic all the time and we're not, or at least I'm not. But it's the ability to like when things are down and things aren't looking, quote unquote, good or as expected—[that] is for me is to go inward a lot and spend a lot of time with myself. And, I journal and meditate and I do a bunch of things that I had to learn over time over these years of like different tools and tricks that work for me to like I don't want to say get out of it, but at least give me a place where I can process things and kind of accept whatever is in front of me right now, but also know that things aren't always going to be like this and pave a way forward towards something that's better.

JOYCE: Yeah.

CHRIS: You know, as I grew up, I figured that that's just a better way to live, to be optimistic. But one thing I learned through this experience, and even to this day, like, it's not always going to be positive. And I think people sometimes think that people are optimistic, that they're always optimistic and they're always positive. It's actually not the case. I have my dark days and bad days and bad moments all the time. But for me, I think it's just recognizing that when I have those moments, to take a lot of--I call it inner work and pause. For me, it's like meditating. It's journaling. It's going for walks with our two dogs. It's finding ways to recognize whatever's in front of you is not such a great thing. And then use certain tips or tricks to get out of it so you realize what's important right now, but also realize that there's a better way forward--and to know that it's not always going to be like this, which I think is really important.

JOYCE: I like to walk my dogs too, Chris, I think it’s very peaceful to do that. We have three dogs. The weather’s pretty good here, even in Chicago, and when it’s not, I still try to walk them.

So tell us a little bit about your career, what you’ve been doing with that, anything you want to tell us.

CHRIS: Yeah, oh, so much, so much. With the first diagnosis, I was like, what, early 30s, just engaged, like I said. I had to start a new career. And what I thought was so important back then, it wasn't that important. Like it's still important to, I think, accomplish your goals and do well in your career and get the things that you want to in life. But still be also super, super grateful for all the things that you have. Like the thing I'm working on right now is, how do you be present in the moment, but still want to perform. This idea of presence and performance. You can be grateful for things but still want better things in your life and you can still want better things in your life and still be grateful for what you have. So that's kind of like my current thought right now is to do both kind of weave in between those two intersections of presence and performance and living the best life you can. So that's really been the perspective I've taken lately.

JJOYCE: You know, Chris, I remember using the Franklin Covey planner—it’s probably been 20 years ago or more. But we had it at one of my jobs. We had training on it and everybody used it. I found it really helpful. Like any kind of planning, you have to do it. And you have to do it every day. But once you get in that mode it doesn’t take that long and it really saves time in the long run to see what’s coming up that day and what to plan for. So I’ve always liked Franklin Covey products, Steven Covey’s writing—it’s a great resource for people. It’s nice that you can be part of that.

CHRIS: Yeah. So, you know, half of my life I worked for Franklin Covey, like you mentioned, which is a leadership development, corporate training, behavior changing organization. And I love it. So my experiences in the corporate sense has been a leader. I've been a leader a bunch of times in different industries. And I love leadership development. I love personal development, even before all the things that I went through. And I really wanted to be in this space. So working with Covey, I'm a certified coach and facilitator of our content. So I get to work with amazing clients in person, online, in how to change behaviors, whether it's, as you mentioned, our calendar. So it could be time management, organization. It could be leadership, or building trust, understanding what inclusive leadership looks like. So we've got a handful of really powerful content areas that we dive into and work with organizations on these areas. And it's funny, you see so much change with people's behaviors at work, and then also how it translates to their personal lives. Because as you probably can imagine, our work selves and our personal selves are the same. And if we can improve some areas of our life in one area, it's ultimately going to improve other areas personally as well. So I find that super fulfilling.

JOYCE: Now I know you have your own business do. Can you talk about the business that you’ve started? I know you’ve become a certified coach as well. So can you tell us about that? 

CHRIS: Well, you know, similar to the work I do at Covey, I also do with my own practice, I call it consciousstudio.ca. I'm a certified coach, as I mentioned, I also do workshop development and team development. And, you know, the name ‘conscious studio,’ I came up with this whole idea of this journey, right, this this whole cancer journey, hardship journey, whether it's cancer or something else, but I find that I find it interesting on this idea that sometimes we kind of work through life, live through life very unconsciously, and we move from one thing to the next. And, you know, as you mentioned, it's hard to find presence, and it's hard to plan your day as well as your future. And I find with myself, sometimes I get to a certain point in life, and you're like, what am I doing? Like, oh, how did I get here? You know, it's just the direction I want to go.

So my whole goal and purpose, I think, is working with people. through my coaching program to try to get people to think of things more consciously on their belief systems, the way they want to live, what's really most important for them and what's standing in their way. So at least you know, intentionally, what's important for you so you can head towards that direction, whatever that is for you. and to hopefully uncover a bunch of things that you didn't know about and consciously live the life that you want to.

JOYCE: My next question is, tell us about your journey with IVF. I know you had your first  son during that first diagnosis; your wife became pregnant before everything started,  and then you had your second son through IVF. A lot of men I’ve talked with have done the same. So just if you would share your experience with that process, anything you want to share that might be comfortable [with you] for other men going through the process.

CHRIS: Yeah, thanks for asking about that. So yeah, so funny enough--well, it's not funny, I guess--but end of 2019, we had our son and then my partner and I were thinking like, hey, should we try for a second one and see how that goes? And we said, yeah, sure, let's try. Let's intentionally try. And then that visit, it was about December 2019 when they said that the other lump and the other testicle had to come out. And that obviously was very tough to hear. Not like you control these things in life and not like you can plan for things, That obviously took one option away of a natural process. Before the surgery, end of January, I took the remaining sperm I had and put it into a fertility clinic and put that there for the year 2020, which we all know was quite the year. Then coming out of that in 2021, you know, we had conversations like, hey, should we, should we try this, right?

We were feeding ourselves all the odds, right? Like this doesn't work very well, it's expensive, what are the chances? But, you know, we were kind of thinking like, well, we're never going to know unless we know. And all hats to my partner/wife, because back then again, 2021, you know, we decided to go for it, went through all the appointments, she had to go all the appointments by herself. She had to do all the kind of injections and all that stuff herself. And it was solely through her courage in that year,  going through that process. And I have so much admiration for women and people that go through this process. And we were gifted a successful pregnancy in 2021 on our first try.

And we had Liam, born on December 30th of 2021. So yeah, very, very grateful. Extremely, extremely grateful for that process. And my wife, but that is how we ended up with two boys.

JOYCE: So Chris, what’s next for you in life? Anything you want to share about your personal life, family life, career, business, what’s next?

CHRIS: Yeah, thanks. You know, for me, I think it's like continuing to build my practice at Conscious Studio. I feel, I guess, a calling towards that and helping people either in their careers or in their lives, you know, live again, like a more conscious life. So I'm going to double down with that and see how many people I can impact and have conversations against to live a more intentional life. And you know, personally spend a lot of time  quality time with our two boys and raise them in a way that feels authentic to them while providing them kind of quote, unquote, lessons learned. My experience, more on the mental health side of things and more on the emotional side of things and try to get them, you know, to a place where, you know, they're confident for themselves, and they start to lead the lives that they want to. And the same with my wife and family. It's just to continue to live a very rich, I call it ‘liferich,’ as much as possible. And again, balance the gratitude and presence with performance and tackle whatever is going to come our way. Because there's going to be something else that's going to come our way. And to be ready and to be in the position where we can tackle it accordingly. 

JOYCE: So my last question, Chris, is what song, when you hear it, do you have to sing along?

CHRIS: Yeah, I'm a big, big Ed Sheeran fan. So a bunch of his songs like ‘Photograph’ and ‘Thinking Out Loud.’ So I'm a I'm a terrible lyric person. You can ask my wife that I'm very bad with lyrics and she's very good. She can hear a song and it is not even that loud. And she can just like, oh, did you hear what they are saying there? I'm like, I have no idea. I'm just kind of like, I have no idea what they did. You hear the metaphor there? And I'm like, no, I don't. I just I can barely hear the lyrics. I'm just dancing and moving to it. But I try to bust out a few lyrics when Ed Sheeran's on, but it's meaningful for me because it reminds me a lot of my wife and our relationship to date. So that's my song. 

JOYCE: Can you tell us one more time how our listeners can reach you for your counseling business? 

CHRIS: Probably the website's easiest: consciousstudio.ca. Got some information there. I've got a newsletter, trying to build some content around a variety of ways. And again, just trying to help and provide my perspective for whatever it's worth in helping others in a journey that's similar or something else. So my website's probably the best place to go.

JOYCE: And finally Chris I want to say maybe you could come back and give us an update on your business and family and anything you’d like to share with us. I’ve really enjoyed having you with us.

CHRIS: Yeah. I would love that. I would love that choice. Thanks for the opportunity to share. 

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